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The
following are excerpts from
Live a Little, Laugh a Lot
Kissing burns 6
to 12 calories, depending on the intensity
of the kiss. A round of lovemaking might
burn 125 to 300 calories, again depending on
the fervor with which it is performed. If
you passionately kiss your sweetheart three
times per day and make love twice a week,
you could theoretically burn 32,000 calories
in a year, the equivalent of a nine-pound
weight loss. Get busy!
Banging your head against the wall burns 150
calories per hour. It’s a suggested
alternative when kissing and mad passionate
lovemaking are not an option.
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HYSTERICAL HIGHLIGHT
In 1873, Edward H.
Clarke, an esteemed Harvard physician,
claimed to have discovered the reason
for 'female sterility'. The cause, he
wrote, was the education of women, which
diverted energy from the reproductive
machinery to the brain, resulting in
women with “monstrous brains and puny
bodies.” It took another 50 years for
esteemed researchers to reluctantly
admit that low sperm counts in men were
also a significant cause of sterility.
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If men could
menstruate.
The following excerpts are from Gloria Steinem’s
essay titled “If men could menstruate.” The
entire text of the essay can be found in Gloria
Steinem’s book, Outrageous Acts and Everyday
Rebellions (1983).
…So what would happen if suddenly, magically,
men could menstruate and women could not?
Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable,
boast worthy, masculine event:
Men would brag about how much and how long.
Young boys would talk about it as the envied
beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious
ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties
would mark the day.
To prevent monthly work loss among the powerful,
Congress would fund a National Institute of
Dysmenorrhea. Doctors would research little
about heart attacks, from which men were
hormonally protected, but everything about
cramps.
Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and
free. Of course, some men would still pay for
the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul
Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali’s Rope-a-Dope Pads,
John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock
Shields—“For Those Light Bachelor Days.”
Statistical surveys would show that men did
better in sports and won more Olympic medals
during their periods.
Generals, right-wing politicians, and religious
fundamentalists would cite menstruation (“men-struation”)
as proof that only men could serve God and
country in combat (“You have to give blood to
take blood”), occupy high political office (“Can
women be properly fierce without a monthly cycle
governed by the planet Mars?”), be priests,
ministers, God Himself (“He gave his blood for
our sins”), or rabbis (“Without a monthly purge
of impurities, women are unclean”).
…TV shows would treat the subject openly. (Happy
Days: Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie
that he is still “The Fonz” even though he has
missed two periods in a row. Hill Street Blues:
The whole precinct hits the same cycle).
On your next vacation to Maryland you might want
to stop by The Museum of Menstruation. It is
located in New Carrollton, Maryland,
approximately seven miles northeast of
Washington D.C. You can give them a quick call
ahead of time if you want to drop by. The phone
number is 301-459-4450. You can also check out
their website at www.mum.org.
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